You’re Not The Victim

When you victim to the person you love who caused pain and suffering, it fills your heart with rage, and you feel betrayed. It makes you miserable and you project that rage and misery onto the next person you have a relationship with. Now what I tell you in this article is based on my experience and interviewing others who have been in long relationships. I’m not a love expert or some love guru so whatever you hear that offends you, I do apologize. I’ll delve deep into why most relationships go from a spicy one to a cold one and why play the victims.

He puts all the blame on her, and she does the same.

“All men are dogs!” “Women ain’t shit!”

Blah, blah, blah! The worst of it is when you have to hear them on social media crying about it looking for sympathy. One thing to remember is when you’re in a serious relationship, learn first how to have a better relationship with yourself.

Laugh by yourself, be angry by yourself, and love by yourself because love is you. Feel joyful by yourself. All of these emotions come from within. Work on yourself, because if you’re not the relationship can become a toxic one.

It’s going to feel like a Kong vs. Godzilla showdown. Chances he or she doesn’t work on themselves either. Happiness, love & peace come from within. Think about it…

You’re the shot caller in your life, the master of your own sea. Choices can make you and break you. Take full responsibility for your choices and take responsibility for who you are. This is one of the reasons why relationships become so toxic. You’re quick to play the blame game. And I’m sure you have every right to, but you have to learn to step away from a relationship and think to yourself (maybe it’s me?).

I know it’s easier said than done, but sometimes you must let them know “Look baby, we need some time apart. This back-and-forth we do, it’s not healthy for us. Maybe we should consider some counseling?” You and your spouse need to own up to your shit! A healthy relationship is taking full responsibility for yourself and your actions. Your response is your ability to decide what’s the next move, whether it’s bad or good. Take control!

We love playing the victim in the story we call “life”. I’ve been through enough hurt to know not to play the victim. You hear so many of these stories about men cheating on their woman or the woman cheating on her man with his brother or cousin.

Women carry a child and miscarry because they put her through so much stress during a pregnancy. All horrible tales and I feel their pain. Playing victim after a relationship has ended, gives that person power over you. Think about it; do you really think this person is sitting at home thinking about you? Probably not.

You need to persevere and reinvent yourself. Go for long walks, and be active. Read books that are uplifting. Surround yourself with positivity. You’re probably so depressed that even your eating habits are destroying you. Stop eating crappy foods, change your diet.

And if you get back into another relationship, don’t carry that hurt and misery and project it onto your new spouse. Don’t make them pay for that cheating cold-hearted bastard’s mistakes. You are no longer the victim if you do this. Hurt people are conditioned to hurt people.

Don’t be a host to an energy vampire as mentioned in the last blog article. Don’t become what you hate that left you vacationing in pain and misery. They both love company.

Take back what that bastard took from you by healing the conscious mind by doing daily mental exercises. Journal everything you do during the day. Take time to write down the one thing you’re most grateful for.

I know what it feels like to be cheated on and it drove me insane. Being irrational costs me. I played the victim, looking for people to feel sorry for me. It took me a long time to figure out “Maybe I’m the problem here, not her?”

I knew I had to take full responsibility for who I was or else nothing would change. I needed to forgive myself before I could forgive her. It took years of practice, but I was able to persevere.

It’s devastating when someone betrays you by cheating on you. It’s a horrible emotion, and it can lead to a dark path of depression. Many have lost their lives all because of that one person who didn’t care enough to make the relationship work. So, they decided to find someone else for whatever reason.

If you’re in this situation, step away from that person. The best relationship you can have with anyone is with yourself. Find love & peace from within.